Clown College Chronicles Part 3

Schedule for the first three days of week one at the Ringling Brothers Barnum and Bailey Clown College.

Chad and I were both accepted to Clown College in 1993. I had to scramble quickly to raise the money for my greyhound bus ticket and for my food and lodging. I don't like buses but it somehow seemed fitting that I should travel to the Mecca of clowning in America by bus. In fact, Chad and I both traveled together by bus. It was a long, miserable journey with plenty of stops between San Antonio and Baraboo to make us wish we'd walked instead. There was a lengthy delay somewhere in the south when I.N.S. came on board and we changed buses once, maybe twice. We kept each other company on the trip but I seem to recall sleeping as much as possible to avoid the reality of the bus.

We finally made it to the Pine Aire Motel and checked in. Chad and I, as it turned out, would be roommates too. We hung out at the motel the remainder of the day watching as the other Clown College students arrived. Besides, without a car and very little money our options were limited. We did walk a couple of blocks to the corner store where we bought a can of a "Spam" knock- off called "Treat" which was to be consumed only in the case of extreme need. We never opened the can of "Treat". I think it was mostly because we were afraid to eat what was essentially generic "Spam".

I remember both of us out in the parking lot talking to a couple of my fellow students when the Clown College bus pulled up with the better part of the class on board. I couldn't help but notice how young they were compared to me. In fact, I had turned thirty years old the day of my audition. Only one other student was older than me. Most of them looked like they were fresh out of high school because they were.

The next morning, after a quick "continental" (definitely a misnomer) breakfast we were taken to the grounds of the Circus World Museum for our first day. Steve Smith, the director of Clown College, had made it a very memorable morning. The entrance to the building where the orientation was to take place had a giant balloon arch over the doorway. Bubbles filled the air from every direction and there was music too. I was just happy to be there but Steve had taken it up a notch or two and made you feel like you'd gone over the rainbow. We sat we sat on a ring curb as the faculty and staff introduced themselves then we were sent to wardrobe to be measured for our Ringling jumpsuits that we'd wear whenever we'd be in the public eye.

We did a number of other things after that including getting our life masks cast by Ruthy Chaddock. I'd never had that done and I have to admit it made me a little uncomfortable after a while.It took around thirty minutes for the material to set. Towards the end of that time I was ready to rip it off. I'm happy to report that I kept my cool. Someone, I think it was Karen Rylander (now the better half of Greg De Santo), actually fell asleep during the casting. We ended the day with a shopping trip at the Kmart. Keith Alexander bought some Oshkosh overalls in order, I think, to blend in with the locals.

It seems cliche to say but there was an abundance of good vibes that first day it made you feel like anything was possible. That feeling never diminished.