Desperate Times Call for Desperate Measures

Your faithful blogger as Stumpy out front at Ripley's Haunted Adventure in the Alamo Plaza.


Let me begin this post by stating that I am grateful for any work I can get in my field especially when the field is as narrow as it can be in my beloved city. Back in '02 things were kinda rough for a while. We'd just relocated back to San Antonio where the opportunities in the arts weren't as numerous and profitable as in Dallas. In fact, with very very very and very (I'm being generous here) few exceptions, you couldn't really make a living as an actor here. In the seven years we were away things had not improved but had actually gotten worse even though there appeared to be quite a few theaters around town.

So we fast forward to early spring of '03 and I see a newspaper want ad announcing applications were being accepted for actors at Ripley's Haunted Adventure. Wow! A steady acting job. I had no idea what it entailed or payed but I needed that job. So, like the good little actor that I was, I went down there with my headshot and acting resume for my audition and got the job. I worked inside the haunted house at first; an experience I wasn't really "digging", as those of my generation like to say. I don't enjoy scaring people. I'd spent the better part of my performing life going after the laughs so I wasn't sure how long I'd hold onto this gig from the seventh level of Hades.

Then one day I was assigned the part of "Stumpy". He's a character who sits his half body in a box about six feet off the ground and talks to passers by and customers and he was supposed to be funny too. THANK YOU! I finagled my way into being him on a regular basis thereby allowing me to keep the job while still maintaining my sanity.

One of my proudest moments as Stumpy was drawing the ire of the Alamo guards(yes, that Alamo) that patrol the site directly across my post. Apparently, I was mistaken in believing the real Alamo was being restored at the Smithsonian in D.C. while a suitable facsimile stood in its place. Live and learn. Sorry dudes.

I now had a great job with benefits, retirement and a dental plan and looked forward to a bright and profitable future. Well, not really. I kept the job for three and a half years. The work was fun but the pay was scary. But as I had often reminded myself it beat flippin' burgers though the pay was frighteningly similar.